snowman

The Snow Man
 
It snowed last night.

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 – The same sex couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 – The transgender man…woman…person…asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used for decorating snow figures.

8:28 – I was called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 – I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 – I was accused of using blackface on the snowman…snowperson.

8:39 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

8:40 – The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up, and I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied “Snowballs” and now I am labeled a sexist.

9:00 – I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 – I was asked if I had any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.

9:45 – The boss called and said I was fired because of the negative publicity splattered across social media.

10:00 – I cried into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman…

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes….

Thank you, Carol.