“After brainstorming with my staff, I’m going to push Congress to make it illegal to joke, laugh, or make fun of me. Parody should be illegal,” said the socialist fashion diva. The dipsy diva did respond to the parody! “I am assessing with my team how to move forward. In the meantime, be careful of what you see.”
i like my gas stove
I put this in the Comedy category. Where else does it go? One commenter on YouTube said, “The movie Idiocracy is now officially non-fiction.” Summary from IMDb on the movie: “Corporal Joe Bauers, a decisively average American, is selected as a guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program but is forgotten, awakening to a future so incredibly moronic he’s easily the most intelligent person alive.” The clip is funny.
If you like good science, join Quora. I just read an answer to this question: “If a gamma ray burst hit Jupiter, will [would] Jupiter lose its gaseous layer and leave only the core?” I’m not telling you the answer.
“…The Democrat party is basically a corporatist party made up of fascist white ladies, perverts, child abusers, big business, millionaires, billionaires, joyless schoolteachers, student loan deadbeats, useless public union employees, Satanists, along with the lazy, neurotic, mentally ill, and addicted,” he wrote.
“The Republican party is now made up of normal people—the working class, families, the mentally stable, small business owners, and people who don’t want Democrats having sex with their kids…,” he said.
Who wrote? Who said?
Begging your pardon, but if you can’t laugh at this, you’re a neurotic.
Excelsior, Latin for “Ever Upward”
E Pluribus Unum, Latin for “Out of Many, One”
What happened to the Latin that united our states?
A chicken walks into a library clucking, “Book book book.” It walks over to the main desk, looks up, and says, “Book book book.”
After a bit of confusion, the librarian gives him a few books. The chicken quietly takes them and walks out.
The next day, the chicken comes back. He places the books the librarian had given him on the desk and says, “Book book book.” The librarian gives him three new books, and the chicken walks out.
This goes on for a week. Every day, the chicken comes in, returns the previous day’s books, and gets three new ones. “Book book book” is all he ever says.
Eventually, the librarian can’t contain his curiosity and decides to follow the chicken.
He keeps his distance as the chicken, carrying that day’s books, walks into the woods toward a local swamp. The chicken reaches the swamp and finds a frog sitting on a lily pad. He holds up the books for the frog to see and says, “Book book book!”
The frog turns away, shakes his head, and says, “Reddit. Reddit. Reddit.”
Courtesy of ESG on reddit.com
What does the Latin word reddere mean? It is a verb meaning, “to pay back or render.” The verb in its different conjugations appears in the 1962 Latin/English Missal.
From a contributor on reddit.com: “Also, there are some unintentional but interesting Latin meanings to the word. It turns out, the Latin meaning is ‘to submit for consideration or approval,’ as if it were typed on proverbial stone ages ago.”
Andrew Tate said, “I don’t sleep with vaccinated women.”
A woman responded, “Yay, the vaccines work.”
Cold or hot, chocolate milk is the subject of a federal ban in public schools. If it is added to the list, delete it. If it is deleted, add it to the home menu. I mean, support your local cow. It produces a lot of milk, even lactose free.
And, um, I know this seems unrelated, but it isn’t. Stop watching the History Channel, a flink of off balance, non-producing cows. I mean, when a channel runs programs on the future and aliens of the past, ha-ha-ha, I don’t think that is history and not even entertaining, unless on live TV a flinker should produce a chocolate milk giver.
And don’t get me started when the History Channel gets going on the Catholic Church. Cow paddies bearing the faces of Da Vinci, Galileo, and members of the House of Medici begin appearing.
The person acclaimed “nuclear waste guru, kink fetishist, gender-fluid, pup handler” is in the news again, rearrested. I post this free of charge to help you understand “new English”, and so long, Rachael Rollins, a “defund the police” US Attorney (MA). She twisted a few words, and arms and legs, too.
My dad and WC Fields could have been brothers. As we jointly viewed battleaxes and I acquired his terms of art, some people remarked that I walked and talked like him.
… and then there are the horses
Innuendo pre code and pre modern vulgarity is de-scent.
florida v chicago
At the Villages in Florida last week, there was a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, “I miss Chicago.” Someone broke the window, stole the sound system, shot out all four tires, and left a note that read, “Hope this helps.”
“The Biden administration has given EcoHealth Alliance, the organization earlier linked to funding ‘gain-of-function’ research on bat coronaviruses at the Wuhan, China, lab considered to be the source of COVID-19, another $2 million to spend on bat viruses.”
“… House Oversight Chief Rep. James Comer … said it was ‘bat crazy’ ….”
I say, “Bat pleniloony.”
voted best destination for 2023 (dig the song)
dishwashers & vending machines
The list grows. Let me think, refrigerators, washing machines, oh hell, I’m loosing track of the appliances under attack by green terrorists. This would make for a good science fiction novel and movie.
Scientists can only guess at why the body kicks its olfactory receptors into high gear at 9 p.m. — it may help humans ensure satiety following the last meal of the day, scan for nearby threats before sleeping, or act as a means for encouraging that aforementioned mate choice … and I would change “mate choice” to male hunt.
facebook or me
When I told parishioners that I had abandoned social media, they said, “What took you so long?” Their children do not have cell phones, and parents strictly monitor other electronic devices. My student does not have a cell phone, and his parents monitor everything he sees or reads. Traditional people knew more than I did.
Steps to take
I verify that I am not an algorithm or artificial intelligence.
Hope you enjoyed that.
A few months ago someone said to me that divisions are occurring in families over the current political nonsense, and I said, “Really?” Now I know. No longer can I tell or repeat jokes to the sanctimonious, and that includes the woke and super pious. This joke will probably offend some feminist ostrich, furry, or it. Have a drink.
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?” The driver replied, “Bout whut?”
The great thing about SpaceX is that it has developed reusable rockets. Imagine if you had to replace your car or truck engine every time you drove. I drive a hybrid. I don’t know if I should kill it or wait until the end.
adventures with dad
A graphic artist living in Germany works from home. His wife leaves their baby girl with him each day as she goes off to work. He got tired of her texting to check on how he was doing with the baby. So, he started photo shopping responses to text back to her, and it has become a worldwide sensation. Here are one and two.
While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages and discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a twelve-foot-long alligator that suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Ruger .22 pistol with me, I would not be here today.
Just one shot to my estranged husband’s kneecap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was incredible, and the life insurance was a big bonus!
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy said. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.
“So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
“I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the crap out of all of you!’”
St. Peter was impressed and asked, “When did this happen?”
“Couple minutes ago.”