Democratic Senators are considering introducing legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans with No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said VP Kamala Harris. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.” She then repeated, “You know, what they are doing.”
In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi stated: “Under the Americans with No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.”
Finally, the Americans with No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions, such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”
“As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Megahertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the Toyota plant in Georgetown, KY, because she could not remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.”
With the passage of this bill, Megahertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Maxine Waters: “As a congress-fluid with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”