dick tracy

​Patron : Hi, table for two, please.
Hostess : Sure, and your name.
Patron : Tracy. 
Hostess : Great, and do you and your guest have your vaccination cards?
Patron : We do. Can you tell us who our server will be?
Hostess : Um, looks like Tom will be your server tonight.
Patron : Great. Can you show us Tom’s vaccination card?
Hostess : Um...
Patron : And can you provide me with proof that Tom does not have any communicable diseases such as VD?
Hostess : Um...
Patron : Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs, such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide us with Tom’s most recent tox screen, that would be great.
Hostess : Um... Let me get the manager for you.
Patron : That would be great, thanks.

Tracy and her date were eventually seated after the manager fired Tom.

Tracy’s brother is Dick Tracy of great fame. The dame in the snapshot is Tracy’s sister-in-law.

She is separated from Dick and is seen here at a different table with another man. She is a sly one. She is a tricky dick, and she doesn’t care who serves her.

However, she did not see Tracy in the restaurant, did she? And you know what else? The waitress, a witty dame, was actually Dick’s distant cousin, Betty Blackmail. Betty’s mother, Blabs Blackmail, took the picture.

Betty and Blabs are my associates. I have turned to other ways of making a buck because crime fiction doesn’t pay. I am trickier than Dick or his wife.

If you’ve got any compromising shots, contact me, and we can meet at a restaurant, just not that one, because Dick Tracy is working undercover there. Burglaries are on the rise in San Francisco. Dick is investigating a large napkin ring.

The rumor is that Dick has a teeny-weeny problem. He was assigned “male” at birth. He is a good cop. He’s got a big gun.
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