Cold or hot, chocolate milk is the subject of a federal ban in public schools. If it is added to the list, delete it. If it is deleted, add it to the home menu. I mean, support your local cow. It produces a lot of milk, even lactose free.
And, um, I know this seems unrelated, but it isn’t. Stop watching the History Channel, a flink of off balance, non-producing cows. I mean, when a channel runs programs on the future and aliens of the past, ha-ha-ha, I don’t think that is history and not even entertaining, unless on live TV a flinker should produce a chocolate milk giver. And don’t get me started when the History Channel gets going on the Catholic Church. Cow paddies bearing the faces of Da Vinci, Galileo, and members of the House of Medici begin appearing.
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The person acclaimed “nuclear waste guru, kink fetishist, gender-fluid, pup handler” is in the news again, rearrested. I post this free of charge to help you understand “new English”, and so long, Rachael Rollins, a “defund the police” US Attorney (MA). She twisted a few words, and arms and legs, too.
My dad and WC Fields could have been brothers. As we jointly viewed battleaxes and I acquired his terms of art, some people remarked that I walked and talked like him. … and then there are the horses Innuendo pre code and pre modern vulgarity is de-scent.
At the Villages in Florida last week, there was a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, “I miss Chicago.” Someone broke the window, stole the sound system, shot out all four tires, and left a note that read, “Hope this helps.”
“The Biden administration has given EcoHealth Alliance, the organization earlier linked to funding ‘gain-of-function’ research on bat coronaviruses at the Wuhan, China, lab considered to be the source of COVID-19, another $2 million to spend on bat viruses.”
“… House Oversight Chief Rep. James Comer … said it was ‘bat crazy’ ….” I say, “Bat pleniloony.” https://www.patriotnewsalerts.com/bat-crazy-you-wont-believe-who-bidens-giving-2-million-to/?utm_source=PNA&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=PNA7&utm_content=PNA7 The list grows. Let me think, refrigerators, washing machines, oh hell, I’m loosing track of the appliances under attack by green terrorists. This would make for a good science fiction novel and movie.
Scientists can only guess at why the body kicks its olfactory receptors into high gear at 9 p.m. — it may help humans ensure satiety following the last meal of the day, scan for nearby threats before sleeping, or act as a means for encouraging that aforementioned mate choice … and I would change “mate choice” to male hunt.
interestingfacts.com A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?” The driver replied, “Bout whut?”
A graphic artist living in Germany works from home. Each day his wife leaves their baby girl with him and goes off to work. He gets tired of her texting to check on how he is doing with the baby. So, he starts sending pictures back to her like these, and now he is a worldwide sensation.
While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages and discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a twelve-foot-long alligator that suddenly emerged from the murky water.
It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Ruger .22 pistol with me, I would not be here today. Just one shot to my estranged husband’s kneecap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was incredible, and the life insurance was a big bonus! A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy said. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. “So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. “I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the crap out of all of you!’” St. Peter was impressed and asked, “When did this happen?” “Couple minutes ago.” Now toilet paper and incandescent light bulbs are under attack. Add them to refrigerators, gas stoves, and washing machines. Dirty, unlit caves are the future for us peasants. Leftists are fixated on guns and toilet paper, not prayer books. I think I will say a Rosary decade that toilet paper should live, or, should tp die, get a place in heaven for meritorious services rendered.
A mother is driving her little girl age 10 to her friend’s house for a play date.
“Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?” “Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age.” “OK,” the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?” “Those are personal questions and never asked.” Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?” “That’s enough, young lady!” The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. “My mom won't tell me anything about herself,” the little girl says to her friend. “Well,” says the friend, “all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card and has everything on it.” Later that night the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are, 32.” Surprised, the mother asks, “How did you find out?” “I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.” The mother is more than surprised. She is shocked. “How in Heaven’s name did you find out?” And the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.” “Oh really? Why?” “Because you got an F in sex.” John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his friend, Shawn. John’s minivan was loaded up, and they headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they found themselves caught in a terrible blizzard, so they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. “I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained, “and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.” “Don’t worry,” John said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.” The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way, and they enjoyed a great weekend of golf. About nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of the attractive widow he had met on the golfing weekend. He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, “Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm where we stayed on our golfing holiday in Scotland about nine months ago?” "Yes, I do,” said Shawn. "Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house, and pay her a visit?” “Well, er, yes!” Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, adding, “I have to admit that I did.” “And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?” Shawn's face turned beet red, and he said, “Yeah, look, I’m sorry, I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask? Has something happened?” “She just died and left me everything.” The judge enters the court. “Human unit, you may speak.” “Uh…” “Shut up, you dumb turtle. I find you guilty of eleven counts of impersonating a two-legged. You’ve been doing it for too long. Into the shark tank you go. One day for each count.” “She/it.” “One day added for profanity.” “Thems is guilty. They is changing their pronoun.” “Your pronoun is guilty.” “As whatever’s attorney, I object on the grounds that the higher court will overturn. I cross-examined the starfish, and I still have no idea how many people of which sex the starwitness witnessed do something. Remember, your honorific person, the other witness identified as furry and demonstrated 40 different kinds of meows. This is paw-inspiring for such, and inclusive, and the higher court will be jubilant.” “Em. Yo, stand up...yes, on two legs.” “Sí?” “New trial ordered on the grounds I don’t know who’s on first, second, or third…or should I say ‘multiple, diverse bases’?” The audience of fluid neuters broke into interrobangs. Paddy asks Mickey, "How did you fare at the faith healing group last night?" Mickey says, "It was absolute nonsense. Even the feller in the bandages and wheelchair walked out."
You’re on the Moon sleeping in your bunk, and the alarm goes off. What time is it? Moon missions in the past have operated on their own timescales in relation to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), but the short answer is: you don’t know, because we haven’t decided yet.
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